The greatest act of courage is to be and own all that you are. Without apology. Without excuses. Without any masks to cover the truth of who you truly are.

 

We were finishing our coffee at Lelem in Fort Langley last fall. Overwhelmed by life changes. Ready for a new chapter. In desperate need of a fresh perspective and in a moment of pure vulnerability, I said “I just want to feel confident about it; sure of it all.”

That dear friend gave me a sweet smile and told me to “email Jackie right now!!!“ After much hesitation on my part, but her not giving me another option or letting me leave without doing it, I DID.

I thought I could get out of it. That it wouldn’t work– business coaching. Jackie (photographer, TEAM X business coach, and now friend from Montana) would be too busy or something else would magically come up. But there I was. Out of excuses. (ha!) But making one of the best life choices and embarking on the oh-so-scary (but fun) journey of discovering myself through coaching.

So, for four months, we skyped. Jackie and I emailed back and forth and had weekly assignments and homework. I worked backwards and called past brides while I was living in California. I had heart to hearts with my closest friends. There were a few small breakdowns. Moments of doubt. Lots of hours spent on facetime with Jackie patiently waiting on the other end with nothing but a sneaky smile as I grasped trying to find the words to explain myself or to make sense of my thoughts. Trying to justify things I didn’t need to justify. Asking permission or apologizing for being myself.

I thought I would change. That I would learn all this new stuff. Have some big epiphany or become more like that person I always wanted to be. But the truth is, I didn’t.

There was no epiphany. I didn’t change.

And that frustrated me for a while. So much.

But you see, along the way we retract. We become a more diluted version of ourselves and become accustomed to knowing what we SHOULD do. How we SHOULD act. How we SHOULD feel. We hold back and fear vulnerability joining the “play it safers” in life (Brene Brown, I love you!). And that’s exactly what I was doing.

So here I am.

Intimate. Wholehearted. Adventurous.

There will be more to come on this in the weeks ahead. Don’t worry, I will explain it all and what those three words are for. Oh man, is there ever exciting changes to come (for the better!). But I am SO EXCITED to be on this journey and see what is in store! SOOOO… Come join me on the adventure as I launch my re-freshed brand and NEW WEBSITE while traveling in CALIFORNIA (at my favorite place! :)) early July!!